It may feel nerve-wracking but you can do this!


Choosing to elope is a deeply personal decision, and sticking to it in the face of family opposition can be challenging. While your loved ones may express concerns about missing cultural traditions or the big celebration, you’re having this conversation to tell them how you want to spend your first day of your marriage. Tell, not ask. Your elopement can still incorporate meaningful elements that respect your heritage while maintaining the intimacy you crave.


Remember why you’re doing this.


By opting for an elopement, you're prioritizing what truly matters: the love between you and your partner. For some of you, it may be to avoid family drama and protect the sanctity of your experience. Or maybe your biggest goal is creating a day that's uniquely yours. When you stay true to your decision, you'll be setting a powerful precedent for your marriage – one built on mutual understanding, respect for each other's wishes, and the courage to forge your own path together.


Set a limit to how long you're willing to discuss the matter before you tell them!


It's easy to fall back into the mindset of caving in to demands that come from your family members. Deciding how much time you're going to spend talking about the subject with your partner can help you avoid drawn out conversations that will weaken your resolve. Agree to support each other with verbal and non-verbal forms of reassurance. When you notice that the conversation has gone in circles, give your partner the sign that you are ready to stop the conversation and distance yourselves in order to give them time to accept what you've shared (and you time to recover from that intense situation!).


For those who have complicated parental relationships


Setting boundaries around your decision to elope can be challenging, especially when navigating a difficult relationship with your parents. It's natural to feel torn between honoring your own desires and managing family expectations. It's crucial to prioritize your vision, mental health and emotional well-being.


Seek the assistance of a therapist or professional counselor who can give you strategies for your mindset and coping mechanisms. Stand firm in your decision, communicating with empathy but clarity. Remind your parents that this choice isn't about excluding them, but about creating a meaningful start to your marriage on your terms.


Here are key points on how to approach this conversation with love and diplomacy.


  1. Choose the right moment: Find a calm, private setting to share your news. This allows for open dialogue without external pressures.
  2. Lead with love: Begin by expressing your love for each other and your family. Emphasize that your decision comes from a place of joy, not rejection.
  3. Share your 'why': Explain your reasons for eloping - whether it's the desire for intimacy, avoiding drama, or financial considerations. Help them understand your perspective.
  4. Listen with empathy: Be prepared for mixed reactions. Some family members might feel hurt or left out. Acknowledge their feelings without compromising your decision.
  5. Offer alternatives: While standing firm on your elopement plans, consider creative ways to include family in your celebration (check out my list of suggestions!)


If the outline above wasn’t helpful, write down these phrases and then add personal touches that will help you make your point.

  • "We've decided to get married in a private ceremony. We love you and want you to know about our decision before anyone else."
  • "We've chosen this path because it feels right for us. We want our wedding to be private and just for us.”
  • "This decision doesn't change how much we care about you. We still want you to be part of our lives and celebrate with us later."
  • "We understand this might be surprising or disappointing. We hope you can respect our choice."


Try to be patient and understanding.


This news might be unexpected for your family, and they may need time to process it. Stay calm and loving in your approach, and be open to listening to their concerns. Above all else, remember that it’s okay to set boundaries. Your elopement is about celebrating your love story, not pleasing everyone else. Stay true to yourselves and what feels right for your relationship.


Are you making plans for your DFW elopement or destination ceremony?


Contact me to schedule a consultation. I will be your photographer and elopement planning assistant. After we discuss you vision for your wedding day, I'll help you explore unique ideas that reflect your personalities.